I learned a very important lesson today. All my life, I've had trouble maintaining solid, long lasting friendships, especially from a distance. One of the biggest reasons for this is time spent apart. When people are absent from my life, I don't miss them. I think it's part of my arrested emotional development. I don't really realize how much I miss the people I love until I see them again. But then we separate, and once again I fail to miss them.
I feel guilty about this. I feel like a jerk for not calling them, not visiting them, not making effort to be with them. But the very worst thing is, that even when I do miss people, I feel afraid. Afraid that if and when I do see them again they will be upset with me, that they will be angry at me for the absence. And worst of all, Afraid that things will have changed. Maybe they will have changed too much to recognize. Maybe our dynamic will have changed and we can't be friends the way we used to be.
Today I learned that I shouldn't be afraid. People don't change, friendships don't erode, and friends, true friends, will always just be happy to have you back, even if it is just for five minutes. I think my future just became a little brighter.
Thank you, Sloth, for once again teaching me a valuable life lesson, and for all the love you manage to pack into one little internet chat room. I've missed you all terribly, and I'm glad that I can come back and be with you all again.