Friday, April 24, 2009

Story Time: ChaoticAgenda Style

There once was a castle in a time and a land far from our own. In the highest tower of this castle their was a beautiful maiden named Kimber.

Remember this is in a land and time far away everyone...it's not kim...not quite anyways, for you see, this princess had a big problem: every night as she was trying to go to sleep, a dragon would come out of its den! A HUGE DRAGON! It was so big and so terrifying that every night it would scare the princess and all the townsfolk so much they couldn't even sleep!

It was horrible. The crops were dying because the people were too tired to work them, the animals were unhappy because they weren't being fed, the town was falling apart because the people were too tired to take care of it.

One day a man was riding through town. He was a wanderer with a strong sense of justice, and he always tried to do what was right. As he rode through town he saw the terrible condition everything and everyone was in. (He was a very handsome man.) He asked around and tried to find out what was happening and how he could help. He had trouble since most people were just too tired to answer.

He ended up running into a local shopkeeper by the name of CAsper. CAsper told him "Every night we have a HUGE DRAGON come flying out of it's cave and it scares all of us so much that we can't even sleep."

The man replied, "Well, that does sound terrible...I wonder how I can make things right in this town."

"Why would you care about a small town like ours?"

"I find it sad that your town would meet such a fate and I wish to help."

"Who are you, stranger?"

"My name is Droopicus, and I'm here to help."

Droopicus went to the nearby smithy to get armor and weapons with which to fight the beast. He saw a big sign: "Nordavind's Banhammers and Banswords" Droopicus walked into the smithy "I'm here to help you..."

"RRRRAAAGGGHHH You're too loud! I'm trying to sleep here!"

Droopicus: O.o

Droopicus knew he wasn't going to get any help from Nordavind's smithy...he was just too mean.

Droopicus kept walking to try to find a way to help the town. He saw a church! He decided he could use all the help he could. As he stepped through the door into the church of Zillian he saw a priest. Not a priest, a nun. The nun Afridasia prayed with Droopicus for help. Droopicus gains +3 luck Now armed with +3 luck and a few vials of holy water Droopicus went out to continue his journey.

Next on his trip is...the pub! At the pub Droopicus tries to find out more information about the HUGE DRAGON! Nobody has the energy to pick up the drinks at the pub. They're all sober and tired and unhappy, but they're more willing to help than Nord. Droopicus steps proudly into the pub (you have to do it that way or you'll get no respect) and declares "I am here to do away with the dragon that torments you every night!" The whole pub mumbled amongst themselves then lazed back into their chairs apathetically.

"Wow, these are tired people," Droopicus thought. So he went directly up to the sour looking barman and asked him what he knew about the dragon.

Huggbadilly growled under his breath before telling him all about how the dragon comes out of it's cave north of town, and how every night you can see it's shadow on the moon, and made sure Droopicus knew that if he wasn't so tired he would have gutted him on the spot for being so brazen. Droopicus stepped back a bit and thanked the barman for his help. Armed with his knowledge and two vials of holy water Droopicus goes North. It's getting late and he might be able to snoop around the cave while the dragon is gone for more information. It gets darker and darker as Droopicus gets closer to the cave...Droopicus is very scared. This is the most dangerous thing he's ever done, but he knows it's the right thing to do.

As night falls Droopicus stares at the cave entrance. "RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

Droopicus waits for the gust of wind to blow him away from the door as the dragon flies out.
And waits.
And waits
The moon is blocked out for a moment and droops look up to see...the shadow of the dragon flying over it? This doesn't make sense...how did the dragon get out of the cave without Droopicus feeling the gust of wind? Droopicus is confused but knows he has to move forward.

Still afraid the HUGE DRAGON might be in the cave or have some sort of protection from intruders Droopicus steps in cautiously. Inside is just a machine! And operating the machine is Microdon, Droopicus' friend from when he was younger! Microdon sees Droopicus and lunges at him! Droopicus has had sleep in the past week so he's able to dodge Microdon's feeble lunge. Microdon fails...

"Why are you doing this Microdon?"

"I have terrible amnesomnia and if I can't sleep I don't want anyone to!"

"That's a dumb reason Microdon."

"And how do you know my name? Blah!"

Droopicus throws his vials of holy water and short circuits the machine and saves the day.

It takes a little while for the whole town to find out, but when they do the Princess Kimber ends up giving her hero Droopicus a kiss on the cheek and armor and equipment to keep up his quest.

Mircodon went to jail.

Kimber let her hero go on to save the world even though she loved him so.

Droopicus sort of wanted to stay and not have to do crazy crap like that again but he sort of had to since Kimber gave him so much encouragement.

Everyone lives pretty happily ever after.

1 comment:

  1. LOL. you make very satisfing endings, sgt...
    although i thought Tarl was going to hand you the trollslayer in the smithy instead of nord being there...
    and you hide names pretty well. nicely done!
    N3RD

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