Sunday, April 26, 2009

On a wing and a prayer.... (Tarl interviews Gal)

He took a deep breath of the crisp predawn autumn air and exhaled slowly. This was it. He was going to do it. The gorgeous reds and yellows on the trees bordering the cliffs in these mountains were about to bear mute witness to unimaginable terror. He took another deep breath. Yes. He will do it. Before he could talk himself out of it, he charged ahead. Faster and faster he ran, his muscles straining to accelerate him.

If he was going to do this, he didn't want to go half-way. His heart started pounding harder and harder in his chest the closer and closer he got to the cliff. His brain begging, screaming for him to stop, imploring his common sense that this was madness. But that part of him was gone now, masked by the joyous cries of want and need, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Soon, he would experience freedom.

As he accelerated, the echoing crunch of the autumn brush underfoot became further and further apart as he picked up speed. With that last defining crunch, he lept off the face of the cliff. For an instant there was no movement. No sound save for the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. He was floating, weightless in mid-air. No cares. No worries. Nothing to weigh him down. Just the stark, serene beauty of the world. That moment was rapture....

Gravity took it's cruel, unyielding hold. As he quickly plummeted, a cry of terror escaped his lungs. His stomach was in his throat, his heart beating as though it was a sledge hammer against the walls of his chest. His eyes grew wide as the rapidly approaching ground smiled at his decent...

As he passed over a warm up-current, the A-frame of the hand-glider strained against the weight of his body and his rapid decent. The rigid frame creaked and groaned with the sudden shift in momentum. Again, for that brief moment he was weightless.

His rapid decent shifted to a gentle ascent. With each gentle foot of altitude gained, his heart began to soar. The land he passed over sang to him, the slow pitch of his turn cradled him like a babe. He was free! In that moment, he was as much as part of the world as a bird in the air, a cloud in the sky, or a tree reaching majestically for the sun. He was finally, at peace.

And as he crested over the top of the cliff he just jumped off, the sun broke through the mountains beyond. A new day was heralded. A new life, begun...

Galexan's life, Given anew...This is his tale....

1. When/How did you discover Kongregate? What kept you coming back for more?

It was a dark but not at all stormy night, well there were some storms, but that was coming from Stormwinds 1.5. So, to start again, it was a dark night, because I was not sleeping much and games seemed like a really good idea, I had a roommate, so I couldn't turn on a light and read. SO, it was a dark and gaming night, and maybe I should've been reading, but I was playing Stormwinds, and I discovered through a search on google that I could win badges on this nifty site called Kongregate. And I was all, that is not how you spell it! Anyways, I joined up and got my badges, and then there were so many others, it seemed pretty cool. I had a lot more long nights ahead of me, and badges took them up. I wish I could say it was the people, but it was totallly the badges.

2. When did you/How did you come to find Sloth, and make it your home?

Sloth was this little room with barely any chat that I got thrown into after making my account. I didn't really know how to change rooms, and I didn't pay much attention to the chat, in fact I muted chat for a long time. There were a few times that I didn't block it though, and during those times some very entertaining people called Felix Genesis and Zilflap...yeah...she had the flap still, anyways they were talking and I was like, what? People who might actually be nice to talk to? That seemed pretty awesome. Well...I slowly made my way into chat and we formed a pack that was mostly about muting the massive amount of trolls in our lives, oh and also we all became friends...that is important to remember too. The friends is what made it home, I cannot tell you how devestating it was to lose FG, and now we've nearly lost Vis too. But we've gained so many lovely sloths.

3. Who was the first person who friended you on Kong (or who did you first friend)?

I think I friended the first person to friend me, and they are no longer on my list. The first person still on there...Zil, I mean come on droops, you are losing this battle of who was most formative! (Is it okay that I taunt people during what is essentially a monologue?)But Yeah, Miss Zilflap the super extraordinaire of Sloth, she friended me right away, because she was a kinder person back then. Plus, she was one of the first people I thought was cool anyways, so of course I friended back.

4. What are your top 3 favorite games on Kong?

Teleporter Twins, Zunderfury, and Pel. (Pieces gets a shout because some of my first friends were made playing it.)

5. McDonalds? Or Burger King? Support your choice.

Pizza Hut! There is more variety, delicious crust, burgers don't have crusts! And I can barely eat anything at the other two, they are not vegetarian friendly. =/

6. If you could change just ONE thing about Kongregate, what would it be?

1) A personal change- I like my text in italics, have for awhile now. I'd like to be able to set my text to whatever I want...though I can see how that'd be abused I guess. I'd still like it.
2) Mod change- Whisper trolls piss me off so bad! I'd change that, yep. Actually, I'd rather change admin policy towards trolls...but that ain't happening.
3) For the betterment of Kong- Dude, I have no idea...seriously, I just gave you two answers for a one answer question, enough already.

7. When you are not on Kong (Which is when??), what are some of your favorite hobbies?

It is way more often lately, sorry lovelies! I like to read, is that a hobby when you have to for your major? I like climbing and biking, if I could swim I'd want to do one of those triathlons that have climbing instead of running. I love cards, if you know a card game I don't I will make you teach me. Also, disc golf, and...martial arts...though I don't actively train anymore, I still try to keep up with my past lessons.

8. What is an interesting thing about you not many people know?

I was pretty awesome at science and maths before deciding to go to college for writing, I was looking into MIT and Cal Tech and such...and then I decided I'd dislike my life too much if I did that. People are usually amazed that I switched so radically, but I don't really regret it.

9. If you could have 1 super power (any super power) what would it be, and why?

My superhero, if I ever get around to writing that story, has the power of corrosive healing. He can heal, as long as he has something to transfer the damage to. I like this power because it gets rid of the major flaw in healing, mainly, you are still a weak regular person, it is no longer purely defensive. If I had a power though, flying is so appealing, but I think...Animation, being able to bring things to life might be a lot of fun...given that I also had some sort of clay, metal, or wood working skills. I imagine it more as a super-villain power though.

10. If you could change any ONE thing about this world, what would it be?

More satellites, and maybe an extra Sun. Basically, more celestial bodies, it'd be cool. We'd have more interesting sunsets better nights, and the added heat and gravity would change both climate and ocean levels. The world would look completely different and would be filled with alternately evolved creatures. Yeah, that's what I'd change.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Story Time: ChaoticAgenda Style

There once was a castle in a time and a land far from our own. In the highest tower of this castle their was a beautiful maiden named Kimber.

Remember this is in a land and time far away everyone...it's not kim...not quite anyways, for you see, this princess had a big problem: every night as she was trying to go to sleep, a dragon would come out of its den! A HUGE DRAGON! It was so big and so terrifying that every night it would scare the princess and all the townsfolk so much they couldn't even sleep!

It was horrible. The crops were dying because the people were too tired to work them, the animals were unhappy because they weren't being fed, the town was falling apart because the people were too tired to take care of it.

One day a man was riding through town. He was a wanderer with a strong sense of justice, and he always tried to do what was right. As he rode through town he saw the terrible condition everything and everyone was in. (He was a very handsome man.) He asked around and tried to find out what was happening and how he could help. He had trouble since most people were just too tired to answer.

He ended up running into a local shopkeeper by the name of CAsper. CAsper told him "Every night we have a HUGE DRAGON come flying out of it's cave and it scares all of us so much that we can't even sleep."

The man replied, "Well, that does sound terrible...I wonder how I can make things right in this town."

"Why would you care about a small town like ours?"

"I find it sad that your town would meet such a fate and I wish to help."

"Who are you, stranger?"

"My name is Droopicus, and I'm here to help."

Droopicus went to the nearby smithy to get armor and weapons with which to fight the beast. He saw a big sign: "Nordavind's Banhammers and Banswords" Droopicus walked into the smithy "I'm here to help you..."

"RRRRAAAGGGHHH You're too loud! I'm trying to sleep here!"

Droopicus: O.o

Droopicus knew he wasn't going to get any help from Nordavind's smithy...he was just too mean.

Droopicus kept walking to try to find a way to help the town. He saw a church! He decided he could use all the help he could. As he stepped through the door into the church of Zillian he saw a priest. Not a priest, a nun. The nun Afridasia prayed with Droopicus for help. Droopicus gains +3 luck Now armed with +3 luck and a few vials of holy water Droopicus went out to continue his journey.

Next on his trip is...the pub! At the pub Droopicus tries to find out more information about the HUGE DRAGON! Nobody has the energy to pick up the drinks at the pub. They're all sober and tired and unhappy, but they're more willing to help than Nord. Droopicus steps proudly into the pub (you have to do it that way or you'll get no respect) and declares "I am here to do away with the dragon that torments you every night!" The whole pub mumbled amongst themselves then lazed back into their chairs apathetically.

"Wow, these are tired people," Droopicus thought. So he went directly up to the sour looking barman and asked him what he knew about the dragon.

Huggbadilly growled under his breath before telling him all about how the dragon comes out of it's cave north of town, and how every night you can see it's shadow on the moon, and made sure Droopicus knew that if he wasn't so tired he would have gutted him on the spot for being so brazen. Droopicus stepped back a bit and thanked the barman for his help. Armed with his knowledge and two vials of holy water Droopicus goes North. It's getting late and he might be able to snoop around the cave while the dragon is gone for more information. It gets darker and darker as Droopicus gets closer to the cave...Droopicus is very scared. This is the most dangerous thing he's ever done, but he knows it's the right thing to do.

As night falls Droopicus stares at the cave entrance. "RRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!"

Droopicus waits for the gust of wind to blow him away from the door as the dragon flies out.
And waits.
And waits
The moon is blocked out for a moment and droops look up to see...the shadow of the dragon flying over it? This doesn't make sense...how did the dragon get out of the cave without Droopicus feeling the gust of wind? Droopicus is confused but knows he has to move forward.

Still afraid the HUGE DRAGON might be in the cave or have some sort of protection from intruders Droopicus steps in cautiously. Inside is just a machine! And operating the machine is Microdon, Droopicus' friend from when he was younger! Microdon sees Droopicus and lunges at him! Droopicus has had sleep in the past week so he's able to dodge Microdon's feeble lunge. Microdon fails...

"Why are you doing this Microdon?"

"I have terrible amnesomnia and if I can't sleep I don't want anyone to!"

"That's a dumb reason Microdon."

"And how do you know my name? Blah!"

Droopicus throws his vials of holy water and short circuits the machine and saves the day.

It takes a little while for the whole town to find out, but when they do the Princess Kimber ends up giving her hero Droopicus a kiss on the cheek and armor and equipment to keep up his quest.

Mircodon went to jail.

Kimber let her hero go on to save the world even though she loved him so.

Droopicus sort of wanted to stay and not have to do crazy crap like that again but he sort of had to since Kimber gave him so much encouragement.

Everyone lives pretty happily ever after.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Better Know a Sloth! Part 4

After many weeks of no new questionnaires, I finally have a new one for you all, thanks in most part to da wonderful comb. And to quote him, "One word answers are for losers," so really try to answer these, guys! It is fun if you really try, I promise. ;)

1) What kind of a driver are you? And if you have yet to drive a vehicle, what kind of driver do you anticipate yourself being?

2) Do you tend to save money, or spend it?

3) What do you spend most of your money on?

4) What kinds of things do you like to do when you go on vacation?

5) What is something crazy you'd do if you had the money?

6) Are you a verbal gamer? (Do you tend to talk to your computer, or do you just sit there and quietly fume when something goes wrong?)

7) What superpower do you want? Why? What would you do with it? (Note that "every superpower, or the ability to do anything, or something like that is not an acceptable answer.)

8) What are some of your guilty pleasures?

9) What is your preferred method of torture? (Let's keep this clean and humorous, if you don't mind. Eg. Locking someone in a room with bars or glass walls with a whole bunch of adorable fuzzy creatures on the other side that want so badly to play with and be loved by him but they are just out of reach..." Darn...now I have to think of something new...)

10) Is there anything your family eats that most other people would probably find absolutely horrid and disgusting? If so, what?

11) If dacomb built a cabinet for sloth, what would it look like?

12) If you could train a monkey to do three things, what would they be?

13) How good are/were your grades in comparison to what you consider to be your level of intellect?

14) What is one kind of food that you are really picky about? (Eg. Your spaghetti has to be cooked just the right amount of time and the sauce has to have just the right consistency and meat:tomato sauce ratio.)

15) Tell us something random about yourself.

Monday, April 20, 2009

The feathered Trolls of Yore.....

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I modded weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of gaming lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a trolling,
As of some one gently nagging, nagging at my chatroom door.
`'Tis some Troll,' I muttered, `trolling at my chatroom door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying member wrought its badge upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost - Zilnore
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Zilnore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the slothy sad uncertain posting of each new badge promised
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic achievements never gained before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some Troll entreating entrance at my chatroom door -
Some late Troll entreating entrance at my chatroom door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your Silence I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came nuking, nuking at my chatroom door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Droopy there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming impossible badges no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the banning gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Zilnore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Zilnore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chatroom turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a trolling somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something in my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the whiners and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately user of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chatroom door -
Perched upon a bust of Tuulas just above my chatroom door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this level 1 user beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy *cough*crest*cough* be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient user wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Galexian shore!'
Quoth the user, `Gimmemore.'

Much I marveled this ungainly fellow to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing users above his chatroom door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chatroom door,
With such name as `Gimmemore.'

But the User, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a finger then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the user said, `Gimmemore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Badgeless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till Greg's songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Gimme-Gimmemore."'

But the user still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of user and bust and door;
Then, upon the green-light sinking, I betook myself to linking
Game unto game, thinking what this ominous User of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous user of yore
Meant in croaking `Gimmemore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no lolspeak expressing
To the user whose fiery prose now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head in palms reclining
On the Admin's velvet lining that the red-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the red-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, gimmemore!

Then, methought, the room grew denser, alts poured in from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the sparkly floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these Mods he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Zilnore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Zilnore!'
Quoth the User, `Gimmemore.'

`Troll!' said I, `thing of evil! - Troll still, if user or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this gaming land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Kongregate? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the User, `Gimmemore.'

`Troll!' said I, `thing of evil! - Troll still, if user or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that Greg we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Zilnore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Zilnore?'
Quoth the User, `Gimmemore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, user or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Galexian shore!
Leave no Kongai card as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my warning unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy lament from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the User, `Gimmemore.'

And the user, never flitting, still is gaming, still is gaming
On the pallid bust of Tuulas just above my chatroom door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a Troll's that is dreaming,
And the green-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my level from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - Gimmemore!

(based on The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe)

Friday, April 10, 2009

E pluribus unum

At last, Sloth has her Champion! After a grueling round robin, and a series of upsets, Sloths own SgtDroopy has been crowned Kongai King! w00t! And to the champion, go the spoils!



Kongratulations are also in order for Timerunner, who placed 2nd and Tuul who eeked out 3rd place! And I'd also like to send out a very special THANK YOU to everyone who participated, and who made this tournament as fun and awesome as it was! You proved that once again, Slothies are the Best of the Lazy best!

~T

Sunday, April 5, 2009

There can be only one....

After many long weeks of grueling battles, we are at last at the end! The field has been narrowed, the final battles are in place.

Good luck to Tuul, Trogdor0, SgtDroopy and Timerunner!