Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Key to Making Friends In Sloth

Any high class person will tell you that etiquette is an integral part in every social gathering, and Sloth is nothing if not high class. As a highly social room, I thought it important to impart my wisdom to all of you lovely Slothies out there, about how to behave properly in our lovely room. Being a well-behaved Sloth will inevitably lead you to being a well-loved Sloth, which will in turn lead to you being one booty kicking gamer and Konger.

1) Always try your best to follow the Three Line Thang. Remember, three is fine, but four is over the line. If you break the thang, be prepared to be flogged with wet noodles, and chastised by your slothy peers. You have been warned. ;) Also, please do not post ascii art. This means no dancing kirbys, no kittens, no guitar or rock on hands, etc. Ascii art is just spam.

2) Trolls are hungry little demons who just never seem to get enough. Should a troll enter a room, there are four things you should remember. 1: BYOM. Being your own mod is a surprisingly simple, enjoyable, and beneficial thing to do. Muting someone gets them out of your chat, and off your mind. 2: Porcupine. Saying this word is a very easy way to warn your fellow sloths of a invading troll, and mass mute his ugly little behind. Plus, it does not feed the troll, because he probably does not know why you said that, and it wasn't directed at him in the first place. 3: Modfriend. If none of Sloth's lovely resident mods is not in the room or paying attention to chat, just search "Modfriend" and find the list of Modfriend's friends, all of which are mods. There, you can see which mods are in chat, and whisper to them asking for their help. If you don't get a response, do not worry, just whisper to another one! 4: Do NOT feed the troll. I cannot stress this enough. You may think you are helping the room, or a mod, by telling the troll to stfu, or that they are an idiot, or to leave sloth, but you are, in fact, only making things worse for the entire room.

3) Snuggling is one of the keystones of Sloth society. If one of your pals snuggles with you, the proper thing to do is to respond with a wuggle. Remember this, and all of life's secrets will fall into place.

4)Huggles, glomps, and snuggawugs are two other friendly gestures you may encounter while visiting Sloth, and may be responded to by any of the already mentioned methods.

5)Snurkles and froodles are anomalies in the world of Sloth. No one knows where they came from, or why they are here, but should Zil_ deem you fit to receive one, you should be honored.

6)Share you food pl0x! Cookies, pies, tacos, and most other foods are always welcome in our lovely room. Should you come across any deliciousness on your travels, please share with the room. Sharing is caring! And we will very much appreciate it. All this lazing around is very hard work, and we Sloths get very hungry. (Please note however that this does not give you permission to spam food or anything. Spam is bad in all its forms, and just because you are sharing your food, it doesn't give you the right to spam.)

7)Avoid dangerous conversation topics like politics, religion, and sports. Trolls often like to hide among us, masquerading as nice, normal users, but such topics often bring out the worst in people, and the trolls show their true colors, sending our room into chaos.

8) Follow all of Kongregate's rules. Should you ever need a refresher course in them visit this page.

9) Google is your friend. When everyone is playing a new badge game, or another new game, and trying to figure it out together, asking for help is fine. It is fun for the room to participate in figuring out the secrets of a game together. However, old games such as The Visitor, or Reemus, have been played by most of the people in the room, and walkthroughs are plastered all over the internet, easily accessed via a quick google search.

10) Please don't post your play-by-plays. No one cares that your sniper just got artyed, and now you bought a gunner, and now a boss wave is coming, and now you got bombed to death so you are going to play sonny, and now you are facing the baron and oh crap he killed you, and omg the paladin is strong, and yay i stunned him, etc.

11) Be nice to visitors. It is true, invaders from other rooms can be a bad thing, but some of them are very nice. Try not to alienate our pals from Lunatic Pandora, or Digg Mark 1, for example. Remember, if someone is bugging you, you can always just mute them.

12) Lather, rinse, repeat. We don't want any stinky Sloths smelling up our home.

13) Clean up after yourself. Dirty dishes will not be tolerated. Whether your cleaning method consists of washing them, or simply tossing them into The Vortex, we don't mind, as long as they aren't messing up our room.

14) Cuddle puddles are always welcome. They are great for spreading the lurve and group bonding.

15) Any doubts about whether or not what you are about to type is appropriate? Don't post it! Tis better to be safe than sorry.

Follow all of these guidelines, and I'm sure that your stay in Sloth will be a good one, and you will develop many friendships with the fantastic people that frequent our lovely room.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. How often do I have to lather, rinse and repeat? And how many times? Cause if I follow the last step, I'm gonna run out of shampoo when I get stuck in it's evil cycle.